Parents Say the Darndest Things

When we were kids, parents said the most insane things to their kids. Mostly they were just empty threats and so outrageous that no one took them serious! While my parents used some of these, most came from other parents:

“If you don’t stop talking back, I’m going to knock your teeth down your throat.”

“Be still or I am going to snatch you bald-headed!”

“If you don’t behave, I’m going to rip your arm off and beat you with the bloody end!”

“You and me are gonna go to fist city!”

“I could just choke you!”

“If you don’t behave, I’m gonna tie you in a knot.”

“If you don’t stop, I’m going to knock you silly!”

“If you do that again, I’m going to slap you silly!”

“If you don’t stop crying, I’m going to give you something to cry about!”

“Wipe that smile off your face!”

“If you do that again, you are gonna regret it!”

“Put that down or I’m gonna beat you with it!”

“I’m gonna beat the snot outa you!”

“I’m gonna slap the snot outa you!

“If you do that again, I’ll make sure you can’t sit down for a week!”

“If you do that again, I will ground you for so long you won’t see daylight for a month!”

“Put that knife down or you will cut your finger off!”

“Get down from there, you’re gonna break your neck!”

“I’m gonna knock the beejeezus outa you!”

“I’m gonna wash your mouth out with soap!”

“Don’t make me take my belt off!”

“What in heaven’s name did you do?”

“That didn’t just get there by itself!”

“If you break that, I’m gonna take it out of your hide!”

“You’re gonna eat that if you have to sit there all night!”

“If you don’t stop that, you are going to bed without supper!”

“If you don’t eat that, you can just starve!”

“Kiss and make up!”

“I’m gonna box your ears!”

“I’m gonna whip your butt till you can’t sit down!”

“What got into you?”

“I’m gonna hit you so hard, you’re gonna see Jesus!”

“I’m gonna knock you in the noggin!”

“Close the refrigerator/door, you are lettin all the air out!”

“If I catch you in here again, I’m gonna lock you in your bedroom.”

“Go out and play, you are so afraid you are going to miss something!”

“I’m gonna knock you in the head!”

“I’m gonna do you right that-a-way!” That be my little grandma who would do a swatting motion.

You’re gonna eat that if I have to stuff it down your throat!”

I could go on and on… What about your parents, did they have their “pet” expressions/threats?

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11 thoughts on “Parents Say the Darndest Things

    1. Hey, I have someone following me whose blog name is not an approved registered name with WordPress because it had an underscore. When I try to use their link, it takes me to a page that says as much so I can’t contact her. What if anything should I do do you think?

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  1. Wow. I always thought I had great parents -now I am sure. There is not a single sentence here that I heard as a child. Can hardly imagine how it must feel, but I assume threats like these make kids shut down and start seeing their parents as a joke. In my childhood home, I knew I was in trouble when my mom said “C. please sit down. I want to talk to you about something . . .”

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    1. Lucky You! My parents didn’t say many of these things and I look back and admire the way my mom handled things. Sit downs were her strengths too. There were times that I wished she would just spank me and get it over with.😆

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