Kids Say the Darn-dest Things

Reader’s Digest Read Up

Planting weeds

grandson playing in dirt with gardening gloves
I asked my 5-year-old son for help weeding. When he asked why we needed to pull weeds, I responded, “Because I don’t like them in the yard.” To which he sensibly replied, “Then why did you plant them?” —Becky Farrell

P3

Our grandson, P3, is visiting for about a month and we are so enjoying his visit. He is five and so handsome and entertaining. We have been anxious for our grandchildren to experience all that is Colorado but with school and cost etc. it wasn’t happenin’. His dad drove him up here for a ski trip and we are convenient lodging. Danny, P3 and his dad went downhill skiing for a dad and pop pop day. He looked so cute in his ski bib, jacket and one of my hats. He wanted to stay home with NeNe but there was no way we were going to let him miss a ski adventure. He told his dad and pop pop that he was not going to ski. His pop pop said, “I’m going to ski.” to which he responded, “I’m going to ski too.”

His father went on a side trip to Denver and most likely will head back to Texas from there. We are making a trip to Texas at the end of March so we will have our little man until then. He is in Montessori School so we are amazed at the words and knowledge that he spouts. But he has always been an intelligent kid, after all his dad is an Anesthesiologist and his grandfather is a brilliant Pharmacist so he obviously inherited the genes.

When we talked to him on the phone, he kept asking if we built him a snowman and, of course, we fibbed and said, “Yes.” and told him it was in the freezer. Danny and I kept reminding each other that we needed to build a snowman before P3 got here but since we had no idea how to go about it, we never did. When he got here, we told him the snowman melted so he needed to build another one. Yesterday I reminded him that he needed to build a snowman and he asked if we had done the “L” word to him about our having built him one. Danny said to me in an aside, “Why did you bring it up?” I just shrugged my shoulders because I have learned that the best way out of lie is to tell the truth. So I told P3 that we really hadn’t built him a snowman, that we were just “joking” and that I was sorry that we had lied. That answer was a “Catch 22” for him because he is always telling fibs and when he is confronted says, “I was just joking.”

He sometimes gets his emotions confused apparently because when his pop pop was teasing him about not getting a toy, he kept saying, “Pop pop you embarrassed me.” Poor Danny Darlin’ didn’t know what to make of that.” but I got it. I corrected P3 by explaining the difference between “angry” and “embarrassed”. Of course, he spent the rest of our day trip telling his pop pop that he is angry with him. DD should be used to it though, he has nine grandchildren. It doesn’t help that P3 keeps telling his dad and his pop pop that he loves me more than them. Makes me feel good though cause he is the only one that favors me over their pop pop.

I got the privilege of taking him to buy a toy, one of my favorite things to do. We spent quite some time on the Leggo aisle. I kept pointing out this one and that one and he would reject them. Finally, I showed him a Star Wars kit that he liked but he would not give me credit. He and his pop  pop put it together last night and he continued to play with it by himself at the table even after we left the room. This morning he informed me that Hans Solo is dead. On an up note, he gave me credit for picking it out with one hand and then added that he actually saw it first. Whatever…

We don’t have kid channels on satellite TV and He keeps telling us that we have to go to the toy store because we have no toys. We had so many toys before we left Texas and what their parents didn’t want, we gave away. So he’s right but the good thing is that he’s not so focused on toys and television that we don’t get to enjoy introducing him to Colorado and spending quality time.

P3 is well mannered, loving, funny, intelligent and mischievous. Works for me!

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Yuck!

I was reading one of my favorite blogs – The Speckled Bean@Wordpress where Ally Bean delighted us with her post about biting into a piece of toast expecting orange marmalade only to find it is actually apricot preserves. I can identify as most of us can. It doesn’t matter whether we actually like Apricot preserves – darn it – we were expecting orange marmalade.47256738-orange-marmalade67234074-side-view-of-sugar-free-apricot-preserves-in-a-small-glass-bowl-atop-a-wood-table
The post brought back some shuddering reminders of OMG moments so I thought I would share a few:

When I was about 10, we were visiting in a family friend’s country home. As was the s-l225custom in the south, the ladies were in the kitchen preparing the meal and visiting so I was hanging around there too. I poured myself a glass of iced tea and took a mouthful. Upon discovering that it was actually apple cider vinegar, I spit it out on the floor. My mother was not only angry but totally embarrassed. She had no sympathy for my plight. You see, in the south, county folk would buy vinegar in gallon jars for pickling. When the jar was empty, they would use it to hold beverages such as punch or tea. I can still taste it.

Upon arrival at Garner State Park in Texas, my aunt and my mother decided that the kids should drink the milk before it spoiled. Okay. So 33405931-child-with-painful-expression-after-drinking-milkfirst of all, I didn’t and don’t drink white milk but I was going to be a good sport because the weather was extremely hot. I was the first to take a big mouthful and found that it was too late, the milk had already spoiled. Yep, I spit it out but at least it was outside so I didn’t get reprimanded.

61128949-vector-logo-big-jar-mayonnaise-conserved-container-with-white-pale-mayo-with-blue-cap-and-label-glasMayonnaise. I hate mayonnaise and I don’t care what you label it – Miracle Whip, mayonnaise, salad dressing – I will not eat it. It looks nasty, smells nasty and taste nasty. When I was young, I pretended to be allergic to it. It was kinda tough to explain when someone asked what in the mayo was I allergic to. Oil? Eggs? Lemon juice? My sister also hates mayonnaise as do her two daughters. I didn’t serve it to my grandkids so PBJ it was. I don’t cook with it and only make sandwiches or potato salad for others with it when forced  It is such an issue that when deviled eggs are served at family get-togethers, my ex-wife-in-law or my daughter make mine with mustard. I recently found out that Danny’s brother-in-law feels the same way about mayo so he has begun sharing my deviled eggs.

My mother used to make a yummy rich chocolate cake with mayo as an ingredient (made it super moist). The cake was a favorite for me and my sister. Once when mom was making the cake, we took a spoonful of the batter thinking we would no more taste the mayo in the batter than in the cake. Wrong again.

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As an adult, I have had occasion to put a food in my mouth not knowing that it contained mayo. Once I taste the mayo in it, I can’t spit it out in company so I have to smile and try to get through it. I usually swallow it as fast as possible and follow it with a chaser. However, I have been known to slip out of sight and spit it into a napkin for disposal. When family and friends want to punish me, they will say something like “a spoonful of mayonnaise” just to watch me shudder. I’m shuddering just thinking about it. Brussel sprouts, spinach, liver – bring it on but never, never mayonnaise.

 

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All in a Day’s Work

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