Impeach Donald Trump Campaign

I recently signed a petition to Impeach Donald Trump. I am not advocating that anyone follow in my footsteps, I am just passing along information to anyone who might be interested.

Because I signed the petition on their website, I received the following about the latest development in the campaign to Impeach Donald Trump which reads as follows:

In a unanimous vote, the City Council of Richmond, California, approved our resolution to become the first city to call on Congress to launch an impeachment investigation of President Trump.

Last night, two more communities just approved our resolution.

The citizens of Alameda, California brought our resolution before their city council, which unanimously supported it. And in Charlotte, Vermont, Town Meeting members voted for our resolution. The momentum is growing, and we are counting on people like you to jumpstart this movement at the local level.

After we announced Richmond’s win, many of you emailed us asking for ways to bring this resolution to your city and state. To get you started, we added a new page to our website with resources and materials to pass a model resolution in your community.

Here’s a quick overview of what we posted to download and share:

A PDF of Our Model Resolution
A PDF of Our Guide for Local and State Resolutions in Support of Impeachment
A one-page flyer about our campaign
You can reach out directly to resolution@impeachdonaldtrumpnow.org
New videos sharing campaign news, here
We also shared materials provided by our allies working in Alameda, California. As this campaign continues to grow, we will add new tools for you to use in your own organizing. We are frequently updating our “News & Updates” section and our “Resources” page, so be sure to check back in. Please reach out to us with your progress and any questions you may have.

Here are some suggestions for next-steps you can take on your own:

Look up your representative, decide if it makes the most sense to reach out to your state or local officials. Remember, it’s ok to start small.
Don’t be shy! Connect in person with your friends, neighbors, co-workers, students, religious leaders, family members. Find a meeting place, and start talking.
Follow-Up! Find a way to keep in touch with everyone. Gather email addresses and phone numbers. Create an online group with tools like Facebook, Slack.com, Patch.com, Google Groups, and Yahoo Groups.
Keep us in the know! Email us your questions and updates via: resolution@impeachdonaldtrumpnow.org
You are so critical to this campaign! If we work together, we can build further pressure on our Representatives to introduce this resolution before Congress.

We’re on our way! Let’s keep it up!

All of us at Impeach Donald Trump Now
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Beyond the Political Stage

Oddly, I found myself in tears as I read an article about how the Trump campaign had a plan to have 3 women who accused Bill Clinton of sexual improprieties towards them confront him on national television.

This is not the first time I have experienced this sadness throughout this campaign as I watch the negativity increase. I am very uncomfortable with the cruel remarks thrown at Hilary Clinton. I don’t know if it is because I have read her book and followed her personal life or if it is just discomfort at all she is and is not. I see her downfalls but I am able to set those aside and see her as a strong woman. I cannot dismiss all the positive she has done. There was a time that I saw her as a selfish manipulative woman when she and her husband left the White House taking the furniture with them.

Looking past her sense of entitlement I see the woman who I have found truly loves her husband with all his faults. She has been publicly humiliated so many times and has held her head up and gone forward. She has sacrificed her right to be seen as a mother, wife and friend in order to do what she has the talent to do to help her country and everyone in it.

Hilary is being criticized for the way she has confronted her husband’s infidelity and the women involved but I ask myself what it would be like to be in her shoes. Many women would behave as she did but they wouldn’t be in the public arena.

What do I feel about Bill Clinton? He has also done a lot for our country but he has a sickness that I find repulsive. There was a time that I thought Hilary only stayed with Bill because they had a deal, “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.” I don’t know if that is the case but I think that she loves him in a way that he is not capable of returning.” Having had the opportunity to show his love for her, he only lifts her up as a humanitarian and politician. He doesn’t show or express his love for her in a way that would show the soft side of her. Has she just been a means to an end? He is like a child who has to be controlled and when he is let out to play, his lack of finesse shows. To me, he’s like the husband of a friend that you just put up with for her sake.

Hilary is in a “no win” situation with regard to her personality. If she shows her soft side, she is too soft to be President and when she shows her business side, she isn’t soft enough. When she missteps, the world is there to see. Am I voting for her? I don’t know but I know that as tempted as I have been with all Trump’s promises, I cannot see past him as a person. I can’t see myself voting for him for anything. I have never admired him throughout my life so why would I support him?

Why the tears? I think perhaps all this brings up the sadness of my childhood involving infidelity and chaos. Additionally, it is because when we dismiss political correctness, we are left with such ugliness and lack of compassion, anything goes. I am starting to see the days of chaos and no credible laws of the Roman Empire returning.

It is my belief that the reason the USA is desirable is that we were at least organized and had a sense of decorum. The Unites States was seen as a strong country and I see it weakening on all levels as every day goes by. When anything goes, will we survive as a united country?

Marriage Myths Five

MYTH:  GENDER DIFFERENCES ARE BEHIND YOUR MEGA FIGHTS.

Men aren’t from Mars and women aren’t from Venus; we’re all from Earth. As it turns out, “men are just as in touch with their emotions as women,” Julie Gottman says. “On the other hand, some women are very reluctant to express their negative emotions. So it balances out. There are more similarities than the culture generally believes.

A study in Cognition and Emotion found that when women thought long term about their lives, they reported themselves as more emotional than men. But when participants rated their emotions on a moment-to-moment basis, the gender differences disappeared. Your cultural upbringing and family environment have a much bigger influence on your willingness to express your emotions than your X or Y chromosome, the Gottmans say.

When I was single, I fell in with the old double standard that women were sluts if they slept around but men were expected to. However, I had male friends who informed me that men don’t like to wake up alone either.

While my divorce was in progress, I had a situation with a fellow student. I was so angry but when I talked with the instructor about it, I couldn’t stop crying. What I learned that day is that women who have been taught that to show anger will get you labeled as a bitch will cry rather that exhibit anger. I also had a mother who could not deal with emotion so she always said, “Stop crying or don’t cry.”Then when I looked back at my then marriage, I realized that men are taught that it isn’t “manly” to cry so they exorcise their tears with anger.

Thank God both women and men are slowly “coming out” so to speak. Men are claiming the right to be in touch with their emotions and women are claiming the right to show  anger. I have found that I have been saddled with gender beliefs passed down from generation to generation. Its difficult to blame your parents when they were subjected to the same beliefs.  Sometimes I see the roles exhibited by our parents but more I see Danny and I working together for a common goal.

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Birth Control

Whose responsibility is birth control? I have a controversial opinion on the subject in that I believe it is a woman’s ultimate responsibility to protect herself from pregnancy. Sure, a man should always use a condom in a situation to protect himself from an unplanned pregnancy and/or STD’S. However, I also believe that a man should be able to trust a woman when she says she is on birth control. We have been given a right to choose but men have not. If a woman decides she wants a child, she is free to get pregnant and the man is expected to financially support the child even though he was not part of the choice. How can a man turn his back on his child once it is borne? If he does, he is considered a dead beat dad but often it was not a good time for him financially and he was not prepared emotionally. As long as it is consensual sex, both parties should be in agreement as to whether a pregnancy is an option.

When I hear of celebrity women who get pregnant while in a relationship, I wonder if the man was part of the decision to have a child. The man is a public figure so not only does he not have a choice but to refuse to acknowledge the child becomes tabloid fodder.

I know women who decided they wanted a child and never discussed it with the man and because they were good responsible men, they stepped up though it put them in financial or emotional difficulty. There have been women from generation to generation who have used pregnancy as a “trap”. As Dr. Phil says: “The child is born with a job and that job is to be the glue that keeps the couple together”

DESPERATION (Part Two of Two)

13778409-graduate-girl-cartoonMy husband and I did not push our daughters toward marriage. We wanted them to have a good education, careers and to travel, not to base their worth on having a man in their lives. For the sake of their privacy, I won’t tell you how that worked out but certainly not according to our plans. As the saying goes, “If you want God to laugh, tell him your plans.

 

I believe that when you are not “looking” for a man or woman to settle down with, you are more yourself, more relaxed and it is more likely to happen. In that scenario, you meet someone and you are not trying to make something happen so chances are greater that it will work out if it is meant to.

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The best way to have a long-lasting relationship is to look at it as a friendship and let it develop naturally. Jumping into bed when you first meet someone, while fun and possibly physically satisfying, often remains at that level and that’s great if that is all you are looking for. Whereas, if you get to know each other first and put the emphasis on that and having fun, there is a better chance for a long-term relationship.

images.duckduckgo.comThink about it this way: You fast track your relationship and have the dream wedding and romantic honeymoon. Yet, when you get into the reality of finances, housekeeping, family gatherings, jobs, likes and dislikes, etc. you start to see that:

 

 

28878075-couple-sharing-romantic-sunset-dinner-on-the-beach

  • 20638912-young-couple-arguing-in-the-kitchenHe/She seems to hate the mother that you love unconditionally.
  • He/She drinks much more than you were lead to believe.
  • He/She doesn’t actually like to eat in nice restaurants.
  • He/She puts his mother/father before you always.
  • He/She wants to control what programs you watch on television and more.
  • He/She is racist.

ETC.

A_Black_and_White_Cartoon_Two_Children_Walking_To_School_Royalty_Free_Clipart_Picture_100713-145833-444053We all know that people are usually on their best behavior when a relationship is new. Often we don’t see the nitty-gritty beneath the persona we are allowed to see in the beginning. However, there are usually signs that we ignore and we ignore negative signs because we want so badly for it to work. We say he/she is so good looking, so wealthy, so much fun and we want a long-term relationship or marriage.

15817148-heart-and-brain-that-dance-concept-of-physical-wellbeingWhen you see the signs, pay attention, because more than likely it’s not a one-time thing. If he/she gets drunk and insults your friends or family, don’t dismiss it as his/her just being drunk. People don’t do things drunk that they would not think of doing sober, alcohol is just an excuse. Don’t get into the mind-set of believing that he/she dotes on his/her mother or father so it stands to reason that he/she will dote on you because often it is just the opposite, she/he is number one in his/her life and always will be. And if he/she says that they don’t want a steady, serious or long term relationship or never want to marry, LISTEN. Many a man and woman have thought they could change a person’s mind on this subject and found out the hard way that the person meant what they said and the result was a broken heart.

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I ignored all the signs that were actually fire alarms with my ex-husband. I enjoyedparts of him that were different from men I had been in relationships with. He was intelligent, interesting, could be charming and we had a lot of interests in common. I was in a long-term relationship with him before we married and every symptom of a sick relationship was there and I saw them but I thought I was “different. I basically rolled the dice and lost myself.

Everything I did not want in a man was right out in the open for all to see and I wouldn’t 5754686-unhappy-couple-breaking-woman-trying-to-hold-back-man-leawing-with-suitcase-and-clothes-in-handquit. Why? I was hooked on having a relationship and too lazy to get out. I used the good days to get through the bad as in “This too shall pass.” I hung on until I couldn’t any longer. I detached from reality to get through the abuse and latched onto the apologies and words of love and empty promises. I was as much at fault as he was because I knew better and the exit door was not locked.

5b70f2f6b53ba55c8422cdac5a3951f2.thIt was a game of cat and mouse and I told myself that I was the true love of his life, the only woman (other than mommy dearest) that had ever truly had this heart and that I was good for him. I needed so badly to be loved and accepted that I took it where I found it, bad or good. The bottom line is that I didn’t want it to be known that I couldn’t make it work, didn’t want to be a failure and didn’t want anyone to know that someone would want to treat me badly. It was a facade and to this day I still have a need to let it be known that he still calls my mother in an attempt to hook and reel me back even though I have been married for 18 years. I also still need to let it be known that he truly loved me, yada, yada, yada. But who really cares?

Danny, my husband, and I dated for three years before we married and in that three years, we went through three years of couple and premarital counseling. I’m sure we both thought we knew everything about each other that could possibly matter. We knew a lot but there were things we ignored, things that have become issues to be worked out. Yet, we were in a place where we knew enough about each other that we believed that any obstacles could be worked out. We have worked through a lot in 18 years as all couples do. Though we have struggled at times, I believe that we would not have been able to get to where we are had we not known that the positive attributes made each of us worth hanging on to. These days when there are just the two of us, humor seems to be our best tool to resolving conflicts.

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A good relationship takes time to build and will only work if all the right parts are there.

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The Tears of a Woman ❣️

Although things are moving forward on behalf of women, there’s one thing that I hope changes for the generations of women to come and that is their right to express their feelings whatever they may be.

e75f70e61261afa370d84fcbf1da6be7After I exited my abusive marriage, I came to realize that I expressed my anger with tears, tears of frustration. When women verbally express their anger, they are most often called “bitches” or given some other negative label. It is acceptable for men to express their anger but not women. I believe it goes back to the generations of women who were expected to be “ladylike” and subservient. The “Catch 22” is that when we cry, our tears are labeled as self-pity. We cannot win!

Even now, strong women, or women who don’t conform to society’s expectations of femininity, are often considered to be lesbian. It is unfair to the lesbian population to be pigeonholed in such a way and unfair to women who are just being who they want to be.

It has been my experience that women supervisors were difficult to work under. They seemed to believe they had to prove that they were “just as good” as a man. They projected the image they perceived a man would project in the same position. However, their tendency was to over-compensate making it difficult to work under them. They seemed to have a need to show that they were boss and to believe that they couldn’t be friendly or have a sense of humor nor could they show compassion or have an affinity with their employees. It was as if they believed that if they showed any of said emotions, they would be seen as “typical women”. In my opinion, women are often valuable at their jobs because they have stamina, humility, compassion, and can multi-task like crazy.

Women who appear strong often are seen as being cold or a “bitch”. However, when they don’t come on strong, they are seen as “weak” or “a typical woman.” I believe that Hilary Clinton does well at being good at her job without sacrificing her womanhood. Yet, I hear negative comments from men that her voice is too strong or when she fights back. Why are those things even a factor? She tended to her e-mails from home, something a woman might do because we multi-task. We have a need to be at home with our family and take care of our family’s needs and to do our career job as well. It is seen as a weakness, yet I see it as strength. Did she do wrong? Maybe. If she made a mistake, slap her hand and move on because it was not done with an awareness that it was unacceptable. Have I come to believe in her ability to do the job as President of the United States because she is a woman? Nope, I was not in her corner when she ran previously because she was a woman and I mistakenly believed that, as a woman, she would be too emotional to do the job. What has changed? She has shown me that she can do the job, that she can be compassionate without being overly emotional. She has remained mature for the most part while other candidates have become defensive and have given in to pettiness and bickering.

Women are often seen as weak when they cry when it actually can help us to be stronger. Men most often are seen as strong because they don’t cry when it can actually make them less in command of their reactions. Crying is a relief valve for emotions and if that valve remains shut off, those emotions will build and blow at some point and in some way. When emotions have not been released at the point of impact, they will blow when they choose, not when you choose and they don’t choose the best or most appropriate time. When this happens, it is referred to as “coming out sideways”. We often don’t know or understand that the emotions are not a reaction to what is happening then but are a reaction to something we did not address in the past. If our emotions are addressed at the time of occurrence, we are better able to manage them appropriately because the negative emotion has not been building up over time.

Women’s psyches have been held back because we have not been allowed to be who we are. Rather we have been seen as “the weaker sex”. Reading this post, one might think that I was supportive of the “Women’s Liberation Movement” of my time but I wasn’t. I enjoy being a woman with all its ups and downs. There is a courtesy and respect that I grew up with in the south as a woman . As a child and young adult, the lines in my home were clearly delineated. There was no expectation of me to fix the car, mow the grass or carry up the groceries nor was my father expected to iron his own clothes, fix his own meals or clean house. I’m not sure I would want to go back to that delineation but it was what I was accustomed to. When I ventured out into the world, it was confusing to me as times changed and men expected me to do what I considered men’s jobs. However, men would not “stoop” to do what they considered to be a woman’s job.

Men of today are much more sensitive and allow their emotions to surface and I think that is a good thing. I have experienced what happens when a man considers his emotions to be a sign of weakness. That fear of showing weakness can and often will become abuse directed mostly at women. I would like to believe that a world where women and men respect each others emotions will become a “thing”. Here’s hoping🍸