A Need to Share (Part Two of Two)

     I had no independence for the month and a half that I was in ICU, Transition and Rehab. I needed it badly; I was not even allowed to attend my bodily functions without a chaperone because my motor skills were compromised. I was convinced I could walk but falling on my face proved me wrong. Not in my right mind, I was determined to leave the hospital and don’t know why the nurses got so uptight since all I could do was sit up in bed, I certainly couldn’t leave.

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     I stayed in transition for a week before I was admitted into a rehab facility to 7426499-dentistrecover my motor skills. Needless to say I was very weak and fatigued. I made an appointment with the dentist to have my teeth cleaned while still in rehab as Danny was allowed to check me out for short excursions. At the dentist’s office I vomited and then  had a seizure in the52448900-ambulance-running-with-lights-and-sirens-on-a-street-with-motion-blur-photo-realistic-3d-model-scene dental chair and woke up in an ambulance. The seizure turned out not to be a big deal mostly brought on by my trying to do too much too soon coupled with the strain of having vomited.I did well in rehab and after 3 weeks I was ready to go home. The entire time I was there, I kept saying, “I just want “my life” back.”

    I am now at the end of my recovery and am still shocked by the turn my life took.
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     This is being written in hopes of putting the experience behind me. What I knowFamily conflict about traumatic experiences is that most often you need to talk about them until you don’t. I find myself repeating the story over and over mostly in response to the question, “What happened?” Sometimes I think I talk about it because I feel like it defines me. I also want to know “Why” it happened. A cause could be aspiration of food or mucus due to my GERD but there is no way of knowing for sure.

     I am now at the end of my recovery and finally have “my life” back. The good thing is that I have not let it keep me down for I am a survivor.

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A Need to Share (Part One of Two)

     One day in March, I felt crappy. I can’t even tell you what the symptoms were but 2592I was pretty weak. My husband, Danny, insisted I see a doctor and made an appointment. After an examination and blood test, I was asked to walk around the clinic but Icould only get half-way around. The doctor called Danny into the exam room and told him to take me to the emergency room immediately. 

     The emergency room was waiting for me and started x-rays and tests. I wasDoctor looking chest x-ray film in hospital. shown my lung x-rays which were covered in white puss. The doctors said that I was going into ICU and that they were going to have to suction my lungs. It would be a painful and extended process. They asked my permission to intubate me to make it easier and assured me that I would be sedated so that I wouldn’t experience discomfort. I had nothing to lose or so I believed so I agreed.Tetsu420full798969

     That is the last thing I remember clearly for about 3 weeks. I was intubated for 17 days which is an extended amount of time for intubation. While coming out of the fog, I went into a psychosis, had hallucinations and became unreasonable. It frightened me but I was told that it was normal given the medication and long stay in ICU. I have also read that it could be from Sepsis.

     All I kept hearing from hospital doctors and staff was, “You are very, very sick.” The diagnosis was Streptococcal Bacteremia and Sepsis due to Pneumoccus. Oddly, my normal anxiety was at 0 and the doctors was at 100. Perhaps because they knew I almost kicked the bucket and I did not.

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