Impeach Donald Trump Campaign

I recently signed a petition to Impeach Donald Trump. I am not advocating that anyone follow in my footsteps, I am just passing along information to anyone who might be interested.

Because I signed the petition on their website, I received the following about the latest development in the campaign to Impeach Donald Trump which reads as follows:

In a unanimous vote, the City Council of Richmond, California, approved our resolution to become the first city to call on Congress to launch an impeachment investigation of President Trump.

Last night, two more communities just approved our resolution.

The citizens of Alameda, California brought our resolution before their city council, which unanimously supported it. And in Charlotte, Vermont, Town Meeting members voted for our resolution. The momentum is growing, and we are counting on people like you to jumpstart this movement at the local level.

After we announced Richmond’s win, many of you emailed us asking for ways to bring this resolution to your city and state. To get you started, we added a new page to our website with resources and materials to pass a model resolution in your community.

Here’s a quick overview of what we posted to download and share:

A PDF of Our Model Resolution
A PDF of Our Guide for Local and State Resolutions in Support of Impeachment
A one-page flyer about our campaign
You can reach out directly to resolution@impeachdonaldtrumpnow.org
New videos sharing campaign news, here
We also shared materials provided by our allies working in Alameda, California. As this campaign continues to grow, we will add new tools for you to use in your own organizing. We are frequently updating our “News & Updates” section and our “Resources” page, so be sure to check back in. Please reach out to us with your progress and any questions you may have.

Here are some suggestions for next-steps you can take on your own:

Look up your representative, decide if it makes the most sense to reach out to your state or local officials. Remember, it’s ok to start small.
Don’t be shy! Connect in person with your friends, neighbors, co-workers, students, religious leaders, family members. Find a meeting place, and start talking.
Follow-Up! Find a way to keep in touch with everyone. Gather email addresses and phone numbers. Create an online group with tools like Facebook, Slack.com, Patch.com, Google Groups, and Yahoo Groups.
Keep us in the know! Email us your questions and updates via: resolution@impeachdonaldtrumpnow.org
You are so critical to this campaign! If we work together, we can build further pressure on our Representatives to introduce this resolution before Congress.

We’re on our way! Let’s keep it up!

All of us at Impeach Donald Trump Now
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Crisis Text Line (CTL)

14296015-3d-render-of-a-person-helping-another-man-3d-illustration-of-human-character-people

If you are interested in doing volunteer work that you can do from home, here is an idea for you:

While working as a Crisis Telephone Counselor for Crisis Hotline (CHL), we assisted CTL when we could so I am familiar with this organization. Now that I am no longer employed or volunteer with CHL due to having relocated, I have entered the volunteer program at CTL. Though I have been through a version of their training as a continuing education requirement and having been through CHL’s training, I am finding the CTL volunteer training to be very beneficial. This is a rewarding endeavor and for those who like doing things for others anonymously, this is your ticket. All training and working on the texting platform is done from your computer at home. You set your own schedule and the text line is open 24/7 so working it into your personal schedule isn’t difficult.

If you are nervous about crisis support, let me reassure you that you will be well-trained and their training includes live observations. Also, you will have all the tools you need right in front of you. All texts are monitored by a supervisor who is always available if you get stuck or need assistance. Though it is a mandatory reporting agency for imminent risk of suicide or homicide as well as child abuse, the reporting is actually done by the supervisor, however, these instances do not occur often. The way I look at it is “It’s just a conversation.” There is no script but you will learn active listening and productive conversation.

Rather than quote all the information regarding CTL, I am posting their FAQ sheet. You can also go to crisistextline.org

Text START to 741-741

FAQ

Jump to

Texting in
Data
Donate
Financials
Partnerships
Tech Issues
Media
Volunteers
Our Approach

TEXTING IN

Q: HOW DOES CRISIS TEXT LINE WORK?

A:

  1. You text 741741 when in crisis. Available 24/7 in the USA.
  2. A live, trained crisis counselor receives the text and responds quickly.
  3. The crisis counselor helps you move from a hot moment to a cool calm to stay safe and healthy using effective active listening and suggested referrals – all through text message using Crisis Text Line’s secure platform.

Q: WHO SHOULD TEXT IN?

A: We exist to help anyone in crisis at any time.

Q: WHO ANSWERS THE TEXT MESSAGES?

A: Crisis Text Line crisis counselors are both rigorously trained volunteers and employees of our crisis center partners.

Q: WHAT CAN I EXPECT WHEN I TEXT IN?

A: You’ll receive an automated text asking you what your crisis is. Within minutes, a live trained crisis counselor will answer your text. They will help you out of your moment of crisis and work with you to create a plan to continue to feel better.

Q: IS CRISIS TEXT LINE ACTUALLY ANONYMOUS?

A: Yes. Crisis counselors only know what texters share with them, and that information stays confidential. We take your anonymity seriously. Check out our terms of service here.

Q: HOW MUCH DOES CRISIS TEXT LINE COST?

A: We do not charge texters. If your cell phone plan is with AT&T, T-Mobile, Sprint, or Verizon, texts to our short code, 741741 are free of charge. If you have a plan with a different carrier, standard text message rates apply.

Q: WILL CRISIS TEXT LINE SHOW UP ON MY CELL PHONE BILL?

A: Nothing will appear on your bill if your cell phone plan is with AT&T, T-Mobile, Sprint, or Verizon. If your plan is with another carrier our short code, 741741 will appear on your billing statement. Read about how this happened here.

Q: WILL CRISIS TEXT LINE WORK WITH MY PHONE?

A: Crisis Text Line works on all major US carriers, and most minor regional carriers. However, shortcodes (like 741741) are not allowed on many prepaid plans like T-Mobile’s.

Q: I HAD A GREAT EXPERIENCE WHEN I TEXTED IN, CAN I TEXT IN AGAIN?

A: You can text in again, if you are experiencing a crisis. However, you should not feel dependent on us. Crisis Text Line is not a replacement for long-term counseling, in-person therapy, or a friend.

Q: HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT TO TEXT WITH A CRISIS COUNSELOR?

A: Our goal is to respond to every texter in under 5 minutes. During high volume times, such as at night or when people are talking about us on social media, wait times may be longer.

Q: IS THERE A CHARACTER LIMIT WHEN TEXTING CRISIS TEXT LINE?

A: Yes, our system is only able to process 140 characters in one message.

Q: WHY AM I RECEIVING AN ERROR MESSAGE OR NO RESPONSE AT ALL?

Sadly, there are some carriers who have not adopted the use of shortcodes–and the small percentage of people with these phones, can’t use Crisis Text Line. (We hear that sometimes you get an auto-error response. Sometimes nothing at all. We know this is shitty and we wish those carriers would enable us). If your phone carrier doesn’t enable shortcodes, here is a list of hotlines you can call.

Q: IS THERE ANY OTHER WAY TO REACH CRISIS TEXT LINE BESIDES TEXT?

A: Yes, you can reach us through Facebook Messenger. Access to message Crisis Text Line is located through Facebook’s Safety checkpoint. This is accessible by flagging a user’s post.

Q: IF I REACH OUT VIA FACEBOOK MESSENGER, DOES ANONYMITY APPLY?

A: Yes. We do not have access to your Facebook profile. The only know information about you that we’ll know is what you share with us.

Q: IF I REACH OUT VIA FACEBOOK MESSENGER, WHO HAS ACCESS TO THE DATA?

A: Three parties: you (in your Messenger thread), Crisis Text Line, and Facebook.

Q: IF I REACH OUT VIA FACEBOOK MESSENGER AND I WANT MY DATA DELETED, WHAT DO I DO?

A: Message us back with the word ‘LOOFAH’. We’ll scrub your data from our system, and make a request to Facebook to do the same.

Q: IF I REACH OUT VIA FACEBOOK MESSENGER, WHICH TERMS OF SERVICE APPLY TO ME?

A: By contacting Crisis Text Line through Facebook Messenger, users agree to Facebook Messenger’s Terms of Service, as well as Crisis Text Line’s Terms of Service.

Q: WHAT ARE ALL OF THE CRISIS ISSUES YOU TRACK? CAN YOU ADD MORE?

A: See the issues we track at www.crisistrends.org. If you’re a researcher or practitioner with interest in another issue, submit your suggestion in the form at the bottom of www.crisistrends.org.

Q: WHO CAN APPLY FOR ACCESS TO CRISIS TEXT LINE’S DATA?

A: Data access is available to approved academic researchers. The application will be available here in late January 2016. Otherwise, please visit www.crisistrends.org to see the latest trends in how texters are experiencing crisis.

DONATE

Q: HOW CAN I DONATE TO CRISIS TEXT LINE?

A: You can donate via Paypal (link here) or by sending a check to:
Crisis Text Line
Attn: Finance Dept.
24 West 25th Street, 6th Fl
New York, NY 10010

Q: IS MY DONATION TO CRISIS TEXT LINE TAX DEDUCTIBLE?

A: Yes! Upon receiving your donation, we’ll send you a thank you letter that clarifies your donation is tax deductible.

FINANCIALS

Q: IS CRISIS TEXT LINE REALLY A NOT FOR PROFIT?

A: Yes, we are! Here are our latest financials as proof.

Q: HOW IS CRISIS TEXT LINE FUNDED?

A: We’re privately funded. This means we receive funding from foundations, individuals, and corporations.

Q: WHERE CAN I FIND CRISIS TEXT LINE’S FORM 990?

A: 2014 here and 2015 here.

Q: I SAW YOU RAISED A BUNCH OF MONEY (WOOHOO!) FOR THE ORG. WHERE IS IT ALL GOING?

A: We are focused on three main initiatives: (1) supporting our Crisis Counselor community with better products and more emotional support, (2) integrating with tech companies to provide support to users inside things like After School, Kik, YouTube, and Facebook Messenger, (3) white labeling our service for other orgs and locations– providing a free text service for the National Eating Disorder Association and cities like Newark and Atlanta.

PARTNERSHIPS

Q: WHO CAN PARTNER WITH CRISIS TEXT LINE?

A: We partner with not-for-profits, colleges and universities, and corporations. Want to partner? Fill out this form!

TECH ISSUES

Having technical issues with the site or text line? Check out our Help Center.

MEDIA

Q: CAN I GET MARKETING MATERIALS WITH THE CRISIS TEXT LINE SHORT CODE TO SHARE WITH MY COMMUNITY?

A: Absolutely. Download our Volunteer Flyer or Text Flyer.

Q: WHOM I CONTACT FOR A PRESS INQUIRY?

A: Email support@crisistextline.org

VOLUNTEERS

Q: HOW CAN I BECOME A VOLUNTEER?

A: We are always accepting applications! Apply Here.

Q: WHAT ARE THE REQUIREMENTS FOR BECOMING A VOLUNTEER?

A: To become a Crisis Counselor, you must:

  1. Pass a background check – that means no felonies and no violent or sex-offense misdemeanors
  2. Have a US Social Security number (in order to complete the background check)
  3. Be at least 18 years old
  4. Have access to a computer with a secure, reliable internet connection
  5. Commit to volunteering 4 hours a week for 1 year

Q: WHAT’S THE TIME COMMITMENT OF VOLUNTEERS?

A: We ask our volunteers to commit to volunteering 4 hours a week for 1 year. Volunteers are able to break up their commitment into two 2-hour shifts each week if they would like.

Q: HOW ARE VOLUNTEERS TRAINED?

A: After a rigorous application process, our volunteers complete a 34 hour training course over 6 weeks. This includes ongoing simulated conversations and personalized feedback from our experienced trainers as well as 8 hours of on-platform observation. Training content is based on best practices in crisis counseling and Crisis Text Line data.

Q: WHEN IS YOUR NEXT CRISIS COUNSELOR TRAINING?

A: We accept applications on a rolling basis. A new training cohort starts every two weeks, so apply whenever you want! We’re excited to meet you!

Q: WHAT’S IT LIKE BEING A CRISIS COUNSELOR VOLUNTEER?

A: Check out our blog to read stories from our volunteers.

Q: ARE VOLUNTEERS SUPERVISED?

A: Yes. Our experienced supervisors oversee and assist our volunteers, when necessary, while on the platform.

OUR APPROACH

Q: IS CRISIS TEXT LINE COUNSELING?

A: No, our specialists do not counsel, but rather practice active listening to help texters move from a hot moment to a cool calm.

Q: WHAT IS ACTIVE LISTENING?

A: Active listening is when someone communicates in a way that is empathetic, understanding, and respectful. It includes focus on the texter and thoughtful answers.

Q: WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CRISIS TEXT LINE AND THERAPY?

A: Crisis Text Line is not a replacement for therapy. Therapy includes a diagnosis made by a doctor, a treatment plan of action, and a patient/therapist relationship. Crisis Text Line helps people in moments of crisis. Our crisis counselors practice active listening to help our texters find calm and create an action plan for themselves to continue to feel better. Crisis Text Line’s crisis counselors are not therapists.

Q: WHO STARTED CRISIS TEXT LINE?

A: We were founded by our CEO, Nancy Lublin. After seeing a need for the service we provide, Nancy hired a team to build what is our current platform. The original team included a data scientist and an engineer. Hear our story here.

 

Didn’t find your answer? Check out our Help Center or email support@crisistextline.org.

Privacy Policies

Terms of Service

Privacy Policy

Website Privacy Policy

FAQs

Check out our FAQs

Help Make it Happen

Want to start a crisis text line in your country? international@crisistextline.org

We’re hiring:
Apply now

Press inquiry?

Email press@crisistextline.org
If you are in crisis, text START to 741-741.

Keep me posted

 

 

Give me a break Murphy!

Day2_1816Danny and I went to look at some property today with the developer. Before we left the house, as I was putting on my tennis shoes, Danny said, “We are going to be walking through snow.” Well, the snow is melting like crazy so I had my doubts but put on my snow boots anyway.”

When we got to a lot that the developer wanted to show us, he said, “Let’s walk up onto that hill, it’s the perfect place to build a home.” I hopped out of his truck and watched as Danny and the developer sunk into the snow almost up to their knees. I am 4’ll” and overweight, not huge but chubby. Also, I still haven’t gotten acclimated to the high altitude so it wasn’t going to be an easy feat but I am a trooper and did not want to embarrass Danny. Like I could avoid it.

Danny told me to walk in his footstep indentions in the snow that happened to be really deep. Sounded like a plan but his footsteps were much further apart my poor legs wanted to reach so I lost my balance many times. Luckily, if you don’t put your weight on your hands, you can use them to push you back up even though the snow is soft. I didn’t land on my face at least, just my hands. The snow was up to my knees but thank goodness I took the hint from Danny to wear my boots. It’s odd to me that my feet don’t get wet, sometimes just a little cold but my jeans do get wet and dry really fast. If this were in Texas, they would definitely have to go into the dryer due to the humidity. It didn’t help that I had to “pee” and I was not going to go behind a tree especially since there was no brush to hide behind.

So I am trudging along, smiling and telling the men not to wait for me though Danny insisted that he wait, that is until he saw that I was stopping to catch my breath every so many feet. I made my way to different trail of footsteps that appeared to be less steep. It didn’t make a difference, there was no way I was going to make it up that incline so I just stopped and stood in the deep ruts that surprisingly propped me upright. I tried to look casual but I was huffing and puffing. Danny called to me to come look at the view but I told him I was fine where I was and looked around me with feigned interest, trying to look casual. When we headed back to the truck, I made sure that the men went ahead of me and I learned to stop and put distance between Danny and me so that I could walk fast which seemed to keep me from falling.

On the way back to the truck, the developer asked, “Have you all had a difficult time getting used to the altitude?” Danny said, “No” at the same time I said, “Yes.” Thinking I could read the man’s thoughts, I added, “It probably has to do with my weight.” Of course, Danny said, “Well, at least I haven’t, I seem to have adjusted quickly.” Thanks sweetheart!

Now this part is especially for Alyssa who loves it when people talk on the phone in restrooms:

When we parted ways with the developer, we drove into town for groceries. While doing my shopping, it occurred to me that whenever we are at the grocery store, people are always gossiping on their phones while they shop. Also, people stop and gossip with their friends and neighbors a lot. Danny and I discussed it later and decided that it is probably typical of a small town. The people are actually very friendly especially sales and service people. The retail store workers are so helpful.

We decided to have dinner at our new favorite restaurant, The Irish Embassy Pub. I ordered the Shepherd’s Pie and when it came as Danny was finishing his hamburger and “chips”, I proceeded to dig in. I had eaten many bites but hadn’t made a dent when I saw a blonde hair in my food. I pulled it out and said, “Yuck, a hair”, threw it towards the floor and said, “Oh well, I hope she washed her hair” and started to dig in again when I noticed another blonde hair and another and another. Danny said, “Don’t eat any more, make them take it back.” I called a waiter over and another waiter tagged along.. I told them that I had pulled hair after hair after hair out of my food, never one to mince words. One of the waiters stopped me as I was about to pull another hair out of my food by saying, “I saw it” and they asked if I wanted them to get another order started. I got the impression that they were hoping I would say “No” so I wouldn’t make a scene though I had no intention of doing so. Long story short, the manager came over and apologized and I told her that if it was one hair I could handle it, but hair after hair after hair. Poor manager. Anyway, she told me that she had removed my meal from the ticket. After a while, I received another order of Shepherd’s Pie and couldn’t finish it so I asked for a “to go” box and the ticket. My meal had not been comp’d so I called the poor waiter back over and told him that the manager had said that I would not be charged for my meal. He wasn’t convinced but said he would check on it. When I insisted that the manager was the person who informed me that I would not be charged, he told me that he would take care of it and I saw him in a huddle with the manager as I went to the restroom. The truth is I didn’t care if they comp’d the meal or not but it was the right thing for them to do.

I put my remaining food in the “to go” container and when we got into the car, I discovered that the container was leaking from the bottom. Danny was not happy and pulled over, grabbed some wipes and handed them to me. He discovered that the container was upside down. I actually considered which way was up when I put the food in it but apparently guessed wrong. I have made that mistake before but it didn’t usually make a difference. Luckily, I happened to have picked up a free newspaper from the grocery store so I wrapped the container in it.

On the way home, I commented to Danny that his Land Rover Defender was warm inside. It has a tendency to blow fuses when we use the heat or air conditioning. Danny asked, “Is it too warm?” and I responded, “No, not at all.” Being the funny guy he is, he said, “That’s good because I was afraid I would have to “defend her”. He keeps me laughing.

So when Murphy’s law jumps up and bites you in the butt, know that you are in good company because he accompanies me everywhere I go. We are the best of friends!

PET PEEVES – CUSTOMER SERVICE

stock-photo-waitress-taking-an-order-from-customer-144399877Nothing ruins my shopping or dining experience faster than poor customer service or employee’s oblivious to the presences of customers.

Here are some examples of situations I have encountered:

  • An employee verbalizing disbelief that he was doing what he believed to be a lowly job.
  • An employee telling the store manager she was going to be forced to get drunk because of an altercation with a customer (they were just chatting).
  • Employees using sarcasm when referring to their employer.
  • An employee putting blame on his supervisor for not taking action yet not taking action himself.
  • Supervisors dressing down employees within hearing of customers.
  • Employees not acknowledging a customer’s presence at a counter as they chat with other employees or employees as customers.
  • Employee retaliation by failing to acknowledge customer or giving poor customer service when they have been proven incorrect.
  • Employees complaining about each other, their supervisor, and/or the company they work for within hearing of customers.
  • popart-comic-retro-woman-talking-phone-vector-illustration-36967984Employees gossiping while using no concern or consideration for customers in hearing distance.
  • Employees talking on the telephone while waiting on customers or within sight and hearing of customers.
  • Lack of vital customer account information on companies’ websites.
  • Failure of call center employees being able to speak English well enough to avoid both parties having to repeat themselves.
  • Employees closing out a ticket as “problem resolved” rather than continue to pursue a solution to the unresolved issue.
  • Lack of even basic knowledge on the part of technicians engaged by telephone.
  • Incompetence of call center employees.

I will acknowledge that many of these employees are just starting out in the work force, however, it is my opinion that customer and employer loyalty and pride should be an important part of company training programs. Employees do not seem to recognize that every job they do is a stepping stone and training ground for the next job. As Danny says, “If you are going to do the job, don’t complain, if you are going to complain, don’t do the job.”

stock-photo-waitress-serving-senior-couple-breakfast-in-hotel-restaurant-207855637When I was in high school, my first job was at a pharmacy grill. The pharmacy was having difficulty keeping the job filled. I worked hard on customer service and went the extra mile cleaning the grill and every other part of the work area when I wasn’t busy. The pharmacy managers and owners were so pleased that they made an effort to keep me on when I was forced to quit due to transportation problems.

In adulthood, I had a job where there was heavy filing. I had a busy workload so I would go in on the weekend to file in order to keep the filing caught up. Sure, I was being paid overtime but I was also giving up personal and family time. I didn’t complain because someone had to do it and I knew I was very skilled in getting and keeping it done. That manager was unhappy when I transferred to another group as well.

My father had a dedicated work ethic and as his daughter, I followed in his footsteps. I believed that if I was going to take a job, I had to do the whole job regardless of what it entailed. I didn’t believe in having someone constantly tell me what to do and how to do it. So is it wrong to expect everyone to perform by the same yardstick? Perhaps my being a rule follower clouds my judgement or perhaps there are extenuating circumstances. However, isn’t that why there are procedures and rules? Don’t they help to prevent unhappy customers and aid in time management?

9319250-two-young-business-people-talking-and-discussingIt’s all too easy to just walk away and complain to your spouse, neighbors, friends and families. Yet, I believe that you don’t have a right to complain if you don’t do something about it just as you don’t have a right to complain about an elected official if you didn’t vote.

I make every effort to be a pleasant and patient customer but I have to admit that my frustration shows when my expectations are not met and expectations are resentments in the making.

How do you feel about the customer service you are receiving?

 

Gossip

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One of my pet peeves is when someone tells me something that someone else said about me and asks me not to tell the person who did the saying. I don’t tell the person who did the saying because I don’t intentionally want to stir up trouble. So, I stew over it and the resentment builds up and ends up coming out sideways. What I mean by “coming out sideways” is that like a pressure cooker, the anger, hurt and frustration build up until it blows, often directed at the wrong person. Its a no-win situation. I have started letting people know that I am not open to hearing what others say about me, especially if they are going to ask me not to say anything to that person. My grandson once told me that his friends said I am fat. I told him that it didn’t hurt me that they said it, it hurt me that he told me about it. I told him that I would have thought he wouldn’t want to hurt me like that. It seemed to have gone in one ear and out the other. He has heard adults gossip and stir up trouble and is waltzing down the same path.

 

11613265-un-hombre-cauc-sico-y-mujer-susurrando-en-el-o-do-en-el-estudio-de-la-silueta-sobre-fondo-blanco

A counselor I went to had a really good grasp on gossip. Here is what he shared:

When someone tells me a piece of gossip, to ask myself why they are telling me this and why are they telling me at that time or to ask them these questions. Most often, the real answer is that they want to create chaos but if nothing else, it will make them stop and think about what they are doing. Another suggestion was to ask the person who is telling you something another person said about you, “I really would prefer to hear this from them.” or “I really need to hear this from them.” This suggestion could also be used in regard to gossip about other people.

 

279595-amigos-que-comparten-chisme

Do I gossip? I would have to say that I am a work in progress. I have consciously avoided gossiping recently. The thing I have learned about gossip, besides that it hurts the person or persons being gossiped about, is that it is an addiction like any other addiction. Here’s an experiment: Notice how you feel when you repeat gossip (if you do). Chances are you will get a high from participation in a gossip session. Also, try to stand by and listen to a gossip session without saying anything. And then, see what happens when someone tells you a tidbit of juicy gossip and you try not to tell anyone

 

9362132-bright-picture-of-young-woman-listening-gossipI think you will find as I have that it is, indeed, an addiction. You see, if you have had chaos in your life, that becomes your comfort zone because it is what you are accustomed to. You become addicted to chaos and because you need it to feel alive, you will cause chaos either unknowingly or knowingly. It’s sad really because you might have been a different person had you not experienced all that chaos. Understand that most of us don’t even realize that is going on within us.

 

 

3487178-dos-muchachas-j-venes-intimidaci-n-otra-ni-a-al-aire-libreWhen I was in elementary school, I made fun of a girl who rode my bus for being pregnant. I was repeating what I had heard and obviously didn’t care if I hurt her reputation or feelings, nor did I stop to realize that it was just gossip. Her mother called my mother to let her know what happened. My mother took me to their house and we sat down with her and her mother to talk about it. I don’t remember what was said but I remember being made aware of the seriousness of what I had done. I had to apologize and really meant it. I think my mother handled the situation very well. There was no screaming or punishment, I was made to face the girl and her mother in front of my mother and to face up to the hurt I had caused and the damage that was done. Even after the meeting with them, my mother didn’t treat me badly or stonewall me. My parents did not punish if you were honest, so for the most part, we were honest kids.

9319250-two-young-business-people-talking-and-discussing

I didn’t gossip much in high school because we were a pretty close-knit smaller school. I was friendly with the different groups, from the overachievers to the underachievers and hung out with the achievers even though I was an underachiever. Another reason I didn’t gossip was that my boyfriend “told” me not to. I was surprised at how easy it was not to gossip back then. I wish I could say it lasted but it didn’t.

9663423-shocked-mother-among-wild-little-girls-at-a-sleepoverI had a moment of epiphany recently after reading a post by nutsrok.wordpress.com about child abuse. I have known for a very long time that I am emotionally stuck at 15. When someone experiences a trauma, they stop growing emotionally at that age and I went through a very difficult time starting when I was 15. I shut down emotionally at that point and couldn’t even cry for at least a year. My epiphany was that the 15 year old inside me is defensive, needy, angry, insecure and fears abandonment. It is not me, the real me, that acts out and the adult in me is responsible for reining her in. I have gone through therapy after therapy and I know what needs to change but I don’t make the effort. I come to a point in therapy that I quit going because it doesn’t do any good if you don’t use what you learn. However, I still can’t keep myself from chasing the problem to find the answer. Children of Alcoholics often become self-help junkies. Then, there comes a moment of epiphany and I embrace the problem and take baby-steps, one day at a time, to overcome the negative thing that is ingrained in me. That is where I am today.

 

6125913-signo--no-chismes

I no longer want a life of chaos! I have had a taste of peace and crave more. I know now how important it is for me to parent that 15 year old girl. To stop her from destroying both of us and love her through the tough times. My question is, why did it take until I was 63 or is it 64? I truly don’t know how old I am because Danny and I are both young in our minds and hearts. Does it even matter?