When to Let Go

Ayala VanZant says when people leave you, let them go because they have served their purpose in your life and you in theirs.

Sometimes you can serve as a reminder of things they want to forget. This can happen especially with friends from early in your life. Possibly they have grown into responsible adults and don’t want to dwell on the past. If you are someone who holds on to the past and has a tendency to live in a bygone age, you could be holding them back by reminding them of their past mistakes.

If someone wants to leave, it is fruitless to ask them to stay. Nothing good will come of the relationship because they have already left in their mind. They may stay out of guilt or a sense of responsibility but they won’t really be there. Subconsciously, they are somewhere else, anywhere else. You cannot grow if you don’t let go. There is something else waiting for you. You do not have to forget them because they served a purpose in your life even if it is just a lesson you needed to learn. If you are spending your time holding onto something that is not productive in your life, you are taking time and energy needed for something that will be more satisfactory to you. Don’t be afraid to move on! You are in charge of your destiny. Of course, you have to grieve or you will stay stuck but look forward, not backward.

Sure, it is possible that you just need time apart to realize how much you mean to each other. If so, spend that time working on yourself not wallowing in self pity. Find new hobbies, interests and acquaintances. Do something you have been putting off. It will make you a much more desirable and interesting person. No one wants to be with a pitiful sad sack. But don’t do any of this in order to entice someone back into your life, do it for yourself. Move on with your life and let them catch up to you, don’t hang around waiting.

If someone will not forgive you for a transgression, forgive yourself and let them go. They will only serve to remind you of past mistakes. Once you have made amends, they owe it to you to forgive or let you go. A constant reminder of past mistakes do not benefit anyone. and only hold both of you back. Don’t hold onto your mistakes. I say this because I do hold on to my mistakes and continually beat myself up. I am learning but it takes baby steps. I have every reason to be happy at this time in my life and to hold on to my mistakes will only serve to dull that happiness. The people I think I have offended don’t give me a thought because they have they have moved on with their lives. Those that are dwelling on old hurts are only keeping themselves down. It gives me a sense of freedom when I realize that I should not be punished for my mistakes over and over again for the rest of my life. There is freedom in admitting your mistakes, making amends when possible, learning the lesson and moving on.

You deserve to live a life free of blame and shame. We all make mistakes, learn from them and move on.💝