Dramatic Exits – A True Story Part Three and Final

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      So the drinking binges at Margaret and Doug’s house continued and my sister and I continued to resent them. Once, I wanted to send mom a rose with a note on my birthday but I was living in the city at that time and it was going to cost too much to have it delivered. I called Margaret and asked her if she would pick it up and give it to mom and she said she would be glad to. I called in the order and Margaret picked it up and called mom over to her house. She even took a picture of mom as she cried when she saw the rose and read the card. She wrote me a note about mom’s reaction and I have kept and cherish that note. I loved Margaret so much and wished I could wake her up to reality but I, like so many others, stayed out of it. At that time in my life, I would never have crossed that line because it would have been highly inappropriate. I don’t know that I could prevent myself from approaching Margaret today. My parents loved Margaret and they had been through so much together and I believe that my m0ther’s secret about her father wouldn’t allow her to judge . Is that that why she stood by Margaret and by association, Doug?

     Mom and Gayle went by Margaret and Doug’s for drinks one evening and after they left, things got really dicey. I am not sure of all the details but Doug was drunk and there was an argument between Doug and Margaret’s oldest adopted son, Terry, in their front yard. Doug went into the house and got a gun and it was taken away from him by whom, I don’t recall.  Doug went back into the house and got another gun and pointed it at Terry. Margaret moved in front of Terry and Doug shot the gun hitting Margaret and killing her. He got another shot off and hit Terry whether it was before or after he shot Margaret, I don’t know. Terry lived and when he recovered, he left town and would not respond to his family’s attempts to locate him. Doug went to jail and after serving his sentence was released. Sadly the house went to him as Margaret’s husband, not her children. How ironic that was.

     It hurts to this day to think about the loss to Margaret’s biological children, her adopted children, her immediate family…my family, me… When I returned home after my divorce, my mom and I joined a church that was across the street from the house where Maggie died. After a while, I got used to seeing it and it began to blend into the background but Margaret will forever live in my heart. The thing is, as humans we all make mistakes, some more serious than others. Margaret was a victim of the heart, the heart wants what it wants and she was too vulnerable to see where her choices were taking her and to realize that she was taking everyone who loved her along on her tragic journey.

     Alcohol was a contributing factor to the tragedy that became Margaret’s life. When I am asked why I don’t drink alcohol, my answer is that alcohol has caused so much pain in my life. I was born lucky in that I hate the taste of alcohol and while it played a big part in my single life, it has no place in my life today. We have friends and family who drink alcohol and attend events where it is served, however, we don’t keep or offer alcohol in our home. My sister and I were hopeful that our mother would stop drinking or at least cut down after Margaret died but for her it just wasn’t that simple.

*I have changed the names of those involved in this story even though it was a very long time ago. There are lessons to be learned from this story so if it helps one person to see the truth in themselves, it will have been worth the telling. I leave it up to the reader as to what they take away from the reading of it.

 

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8 thoughts on “Dramatic Exits – A True Story Part Three and Final

  1. Doug Lafuze

    My ex worked at a daycare for a while, and she was a big drinker, so she went clubbing with some of the parents who had kids at the daycare where she worked. The stories of what those mother’s put their kids through in the name of keeping a “man” (I use that term loosely) broke my heart. From leaving three year olds home alone in bed to go out drinking to find Mr Right, to little kids testing positive for meth because her man is using it around her kids, but she doesn’t want to upset him because he might leave her. I’ve done my best to raise my daughter to know she doesn’t “need” a man, she doesn’t “need” to rush out and get married. I want her to be strong enough to be on her own until she can find “the one” for her. I wish these other young women could see they are strong enough also.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hard to hear isn’t it? As a crisis telephone counselor, I did my very best to convince girls and women to be true to themselves and their children. Luckily our daughters chose well when one married and the other had two sons by two different guys. While we were unhappy about the circumstances of our grandsons’ birth, we love them dearly and the guys are great fathers. Each of the two have custody of their sons at this time. Our daughter went off track and she, herself, put our grandson in jeopardy so we got Children’s Protective Services involved. She has supervised visitation so the three of them spent the weekend with us. She did a good job of fulfilling the mother role and obeyed the parameters she has to stay within. Before this she would try everything she could to get around the rules.We are encouraged that she seems to be doing well. She has a good job and is working with a life coach. Keep your fingers crossed for us.😊

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Actually, I have to say I was but I had trouble staying within the parameters. CI didn’t like for us to “share” but I did anyway because callers found it helpful and comforting to know that I had been through what they were going through and come out the other side.They didn’t want someone to just tell them it was going to be o.k. in a monotone because they didn’t feel like it was going to be o.k. They wanted to talk to someone who had been through it. At least that is the feedback I got. Like when you go to a counselor that constantly asks “What did that feel like?” or “What is the feeling?” while she looks at her nails or the clock. I truly felt that I was successful in helping most callers through their crisis.or at least through the night. I think my being accustomed to sharing strength, hope and experience as taught in Ala-non and as I do here was so at odds with the guidelines that I got frustrated making it easier for me to quit. It was sometimes hard to limit the length of the conversation also. I hated to cut people off when I couldn’t find a good exit point. So much of what people were experiencing, I had been through. I do miss it. Thanks for the feedback.

      How are you and your husband feeling?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We’re back on the mend; thanks for asking.

        See *that’s* what proves it: You’re a caring, empathetic person who asked me how I was doing as part of your comment. I do think people need to hear from the survivors–like yourself–because the tendency, in a crisis, is to isolate. To know that others have been there is a priceless lesson, and one that helps kick off the healing process (at least for me).

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks. One of the benefits is that most callers are in shame mode. They are calling us because the don’t feel like they can tell anyone what they are going through. When they hear that someone else has been through it, it helps lessen the shame. That’s why it helps me to write about it.

        Liked by 1 person

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